Austin Girl

i'm a mommy, a supportive wife (mostly), a loving daughter, a lazy but well-meaning friend, a texan, a reformed party girl, a slacker, a seeker, a chameleon, a reluctant L.Alien, trying to find the meaning of life in los angeles.

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Location: Los Angeles, CA

Saturday, September 12, 2009


She had the most sparkling eyes, huge dimples, and a smile that could light up the darkest day. She lived with us when I was just two or three years old. She and our other sister, Kim, came to live with us when their mother went on a year-long mission. We shared a dad, and my mom was overjoyed to have the opportunity to watch over her husband's two daughters from his previous marriage to get to know them. She welcomed them with open arms. I don't think I really understood what was happening then, or why they were there, but I knew I was happy to have four big sisters all of a sudden. Kind of a mini-Brady Bunch. Her two, his two, and their one. Becky always reminded me of Judy Garland's Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Beautiful, sweet, kind and caring. A natural nurturer, even at the age of 12. Once, when I was about 3, I guess, I pulled Daddy's hunting rifle out of his closet. Becky caught me, and gave me a lecture about the danger of handling weapons- even if not loaded, she said, I should never touch them. She told me about how they could kill, and that Daddy had to kill people in Korea (he was a Marine) and how traumatized he was by it. She was firm, but kind. After she and Kim moved away again, I saw her from time to time over the years. We moved to McAllen, TX when I was about 5, and she came to visit with her boyfriend. She was glowingly beautiful- inside and out. Later she married, and I was in the wedding. She came to visit us with her new baby, Kimberly, and later came Noah, and then Lara. I went to visit her and her new husband, Bobby. A big, lovable bear of a man with a rough-around-the-edges kindness. At some point along the way, communication stopped between my dad's daughters and us. I didn't understand why, and didn't think to ask about it until much later. Skeletons started to emerge bit by bit, but I still didn't get the full picture until after Daddy's death in 1988. I was the one that tracked down Becky a year after Daddy's death, and told her. She said that she had had a dream that an angel told her he was at peace now. Somehow she already knew. The skeletons spilled out, and it was devastating. Even now, I don't know what is truth and what is fiction, and probably never will. After that, I made occasional visits to San Antonio to see Becky and her beautiful family. I never got too close because of the skeletons, but always had her in my heart. And I know I was in hers. I once told her I was sorry I hadn't been a better sister and aunt, and she said all that matters is that I say it and feel it, and no matter what we know the love is there even if we don't see each other often enough.

My father, and both of his daughters are in Heaven now. I can only hope that they have reconciled, and that all of the pain and hurt of the past has given in to love and understanding. Yesterday, a little before 3pm, sweet Becky lost her battle with colon cancer. She fought courageously for over 3 years, and fought hard. But the cancer fought harder, and the aggressive treatments ravaged her little body. She thankfully died at home surrounded by her husband, Bobby; mother, Joyce; and children, Kimberly, Noah, Lara and Julianna. She may be gone from this world, but as she said, the love is there even if we can't see each other. I know she is in my heart, my mind, and that she is watching over all of those she loves. Becky, I love you. I know that Heaven has the sweetest angel now.



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