Austin Girl

2009-09-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

Testing mobile blogging

Becky

2009-09-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

She had the most sparkling eyes, huge dimples, and a smile that could light up the darkest day. She lived with us when I was just two or three years old. She and our other sister, Kim, came to live with us when their mother went on a year-long mission. We shared a dad, and my mom was overjoyed to have the opportunity to watch over her husband's two daughters from his previous marriage to get to know them. She welcomed them with open arms. I don't think I really understood what was happening then, or why they were there, but I knew I was happy to have four big sisters all of a sudden. Kind of a mini-Brady Bunch. Her two, his two, and their one. Becky always reminded me of Judy Garland's Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Beautiful, sweet, kind and caring. A natural nurturer, even at the age of 12. Once, when I was about 3, I guess, I pulled Daddy's hunting rifle out of his closet. Becky caught me, and gave me a lecture about the danger of handling weapons- even if not loaded, she said, I should never touch them. She told me about how they could kill, and that Daddy had to kill people in Korea (he was a Marine) and how traumatized he was by it. She was firm, but kind. After she and Kim moved away again, I saw her from time to time over the years. We moved to McAllen, TX when I was about 5, and she came to visit with her boyfriend. She was glowingly beautiful- inside and out. Later she married, and I was in the wedding. She came to visit us with her new baby, Kimberly, and later came Noah, and then Lara. I went to visit her and her new husband, Bobby. A big, lovable bear of a man with a rough-around-the-edges kindness. At some point along the way, communication stopped between my dad's daughters and us. I didn't understand why, and didn't think to ask about it until much later. Skeletons started to emerge bit by bit, but I still didn't get the full picture until after Daddy's death in 1988. I was the one that tracked down Becky a year after Daddy's death, and told her. She said that she had had a dream that an angel told her he was at peace now. Somehow she already knew. The skeletons spilled out, and it was devastating. Even now, I don't know what is truth and what is fiction, and probably never will. After that, I made occasional visits to San Antonio to see Becky and her beautiful family. I never got too close because of the skeletons, but always had her in my heart. And I know I was in hers. I once told her I was sorry I hadn't been a better sister and aunt, and she said all that matters is that I say it and feel it, and no matter what we know the love is there even if we don't see each other often enough.

My father, and both of his daughters are in Heaven now. I can only hope that they have reconciled, and that all of the pain and hurt of the past has given in to love and understanding. Yesterday, a little before 3pm, sweet Becky lost her battle with colon cancer. She fought courageously for over 3 years, and fought hard. But the cancer fought harder, and the aggressive treatments ravaged her little body. She thankfully died at home surrounded by her husband, Bobby; mother, Joyce; and children, Kimberly, Noah, Lara and Julianna. She may be gone from this world, but as she said, the love is there even if we can't see each other. I know she is in my heart, my mind, and that she is watching over all of those she loves. Becky, I love you. I know that Heaven has the sweetest angel now.

I think I'll start blogging again

2009-02-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

This morning I poured myself a cup of coffee (my favorite part of the day! that first cup.) I pulled out my Texas Champion Rosebowl cup and read the date: January 4, 2006. 2006? What the....! I KNOW I celebrated my 40th birthday with a Rosebowl party when UT kicked some USC butt (I was working at USC at the time, so it was a very friendly competition.) Problem is, I was born in 1967. So there MUST have been a misprint on the cup. So I go online and look it up on the official Rosebowl site. Sure enough, the game was January 06. What is wrong with my memory? Still not believing this I decide to look at my old blog that I don't keep up. There posted on the internet for all posterity is a log of my 2006 and 2007 birthdays. So my best birthday ever was my 39th! Our L.A. friends, Shiner Bock, Texas Chili in our old funky apartment on 4th Ave. My 40th was nice too. After we made the spontaneous decision to jump in the car and drive from L.A. to Austin for Christmas, my family in Austin gave me a surprise party, and I got a day at the spa from my sister. Funny how memory works. I think 39 was a milestone, my last year in the 30s. Thanks blog. Thanks for clearing things up.

home sweet home

2008-05-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

suburbia

2008-05-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

the father of a kid in my kid's school (let's call him Buford) whooped up on the father of another kid in my kid's class (let's call him Hans) because Buford didn't like Hans' driving. this all happened in the parking lot of the elementary school IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!!!! Buford had the nerve to say that Hans was setting a bad example for the children by his bad driving as he was roughing Hans up. the WORST part is that of all of the adults who witnessed this, only one person went up to Hans afterwards to see what happened, and to see if he was ok. no one else has said a word to Hans about it since. kind of twilight zone-ish.

DOMESTICATION IS SETTING IN

2008-05-15T19:37:00.001-07:00

did it. bought a house. we're over 40 and finally own our own mortgage. i'll post pictures later. my job is the hardest thing i've ever done, except for childbirth. very challenging, but i love it. husband is working on an austin independent comedy.

maybe i should change my blog name to cali girl. I MISS L.A.!!!! (don't you dare tell anyone i said that)

so, i've been away.

2008-02-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

not feeling so bloggy these days. maybe i'll come back one day. we are in texas, and i think we're buying a house tomorrow! panic is setting in. and excitement!

oh, the best news of all!

2007-06-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

my sister who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in around november, was just given the news that she is free and clear!!!! she has the strongest faith in God of just about anyone i know. not many stage 4 diagnoses go completely into remission like that. my faith has waned quite a bit of late, but this definitely gives me hope.

my head is about to explode

2007-06-04T15:46:00.000-07:00

i hate change, folks. like, REALLY dread it. it gives me knots in my stomach, the heebie jeebies, and i have strange dreams that i can't quite remember when i wake, but i have a strange unsettled feeling when i open my eyes. i create completely irrational scenarios in my mind about the horrors that change might possibly bring about. like if i take one step away from the path i'm on, that unknown terrors await me around every bend. yet...

at the same time, it exhilarates me! i feel empowered. on top of the world with endless possibilities before me. how can i possibly feel so powerful and so incredibly freaked out all at the same time? is that...normal? right now my emotions are going from one extreme to another within a matter of minutes. from feeling like i can conquer anything, to feeling like i want to just crawl in a hole, or better, drink a whole lotta something.

ultimately, this may sound like a heap load-o-gibberish to all of you. suffice it to say, there are some big changes on the horizon in my world. in the world of my little family. all very good, but hard for me to conceive of. my dear husband is very supportive, and proud, and even willing to make concessions. the kid is excited and positive, and always the light of my universe. i started this blog because i was homesick for texas. a place for me to pine away for austin. and now i fear losing something by leaving los angeles. friends. excitement. maybe i am more interesting as a texan in l.a. than as a texan in, well, texas. i come from a family of flamboyants. HEY! that would be a great movie title. "The Flamboyants" i digress. i come from a family of flamboyant individuals, who tend to define you and compartmentalize you, and try to fit you into their own concept of who they think you ought to be. narcissists really. ok. so there are a lot of people like that out there. but i have always longed to stand out in a crowd.

however, i think i'm taking something back with me from la la land, and that is the ability to just be me, and to realize that it is ok. my husband thinks i am much more capable than i give myself credit for. and my little girl has grown into a real character herself. a wonderful, compassionate, intelligent little human. and she loves me just the way that i am. and that is just enough for me. so whatever changes life has in store for me, for us, I... we can handle it.

My first ever meme

2007-04-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

noirbettie interviewed me.

1. What's the thing you miss most about Texas (not counting family)?
Oh, geez. That's a toughie. There are many many things. I'd say it isn't actually Texas I miss, but Austin. Town Lake hike and bike trail (even the stupid Stevie Ray Vaughn statue), South Congress Ave - (Continental Club, funky shops, Guero’s). I miss giant thunderstorms, the fireflies, and the sound of the cicadas on a hot summer's night. I miss and when the insane heat of summer slowly changes to a crisp fall with golden leaves. And there is a feeling that I have when I'm there which I don't know how to describe that I really miss. Things seem slower there, not as hectic. I miss the hippie neighborhoods and general funkiness.

2. What do you love best about Los Angeles?
The weather, the cultural diversity, the amazing restaurants, our friends, the fact that we are only 30 minutes away from the mountains or the beach.

3. How did you choose Helen's name?
It was my grandmother's name, and her mother's, and her grandmother's,and her great grandmother's, and maybe a few more before that. They were all Helens. My sister is a Helene, my cousin is Elena- variations. I chose to go back to the traditional. The other name we thought about was Lucie. Luke for a boy.

4. If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you choose?
Ireland, because I think I'm part Irish, and I love the music. And Scotland (to hunt for the Loch Ness Monster, of course)

5. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Oh, do I have to? Grow up that is? Honestly, I want to be a puppeteer. Jim Henson was my hero. I dabbled in it for a while, and did a lot of research on the history of puppetry. I wrote my master's thesis on the famous Czech puppet duo, Spejbl and Hurvinek, and me hubby and I actually toured through the Czechlands on the puppet bus, and hung with the puppeteers. I'd really love to run my own children's theatre.

I think I'm supposed to offer to interview anyone who reads my blog, but I think there are only two or three of you. But if you are out there and have a blog (or hey, even if you don't) let me know and I'll think of 5 questions for you.

Taxes Stink

2007-04-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Tax Day! Oh, how I miss getting a refund.

AG phone home

2007-03-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

we're thinking about moving back to austin. it would mean a lot of back and forth for the husband, but my mother needs me,we can buy a perfectly acceptable house in a decent neighborhood for under $400K, and i am pretty disgusted with the hollywood types right now. there. its out there.

2007-03-06T19:10:00.000-08:00

my yoga teacher read this to us in class today. it has been circulating on the internet, but i'd never heard it. it seems highly appropriate right now. enjoy!

TWO WOLVES
An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."

2007-03-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

me and my dear hubby at a party in Austin, December 2006

the famous face painting lady. she painted my face at a bar on 6th street called Toulouse (long gone) back in the '90s

2007-02-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Well, did you watch the Oscars? Did you see my buddy Randy Newman with James Taylor? I was bummed he didn't win, but he's got enough wins under his belt I guess. He is really such a nice nice man. His wife, Gretchen, is great too. He brings his family, kids and all, every year to this big fundraiser that I work for. He was honored several years back at this fundraiser, and he has attended every year since. I know I'm name dropping a bit, but it was just so exciting to see him there on the TV playing at the Oscars, and then seeing he and his wife in the audience, and knowing that I've had actual conversations with the guy.

In fact, here's a great story to rival the one about me sitting in a hot tub with Yakov Smirnoff (I know what you are thinking, and NO. It wasn't like that.). Last year, I was wearing these new high heeled pumps and my feet were killing me from running around all night while working at the fundraiser. Randy asked what the trouble was because I suppose I was grimacing, and I told him I was wearing new shoes. He looked down at my feet, and then looked at me and said "do you wanna wear mine?" CAN YOU IMAGINE???? I could have walked in Randy Newman's shoes! Literally! I LOVE that man.

I went to see him at the Paramount Theatre in Austin way back when I was in my early 20s, and I remember thinking he was a sarcastic bitter man. But now that I've met him, I know that he's just got a biting wit, but he is just a big teddy bear. When I first met him we had a conversation about Austin, and now every time he sees me he calls me "Texas."

While I'm often not feeling very positive about my job, I guess I can say that one perk is that I've gotten the chance to meet some ledgends and famous people. So here, I'll name drop a bit more. People I've met at work (I work at a school of music): Herbie Hancock, Randy Newman (of course), Quincy Jones, Pepe Romero, Placido Domingo, Bonnie Raitt and her dad John Raitt, Burt Bacharach, Bobby McFerrin, Alan Silvestri, James Newton Howard, John Williams. Mind you, none of these people have any idea who I am, but I've shook their hands and spared a few words. Now, if only I could meet Donny Osmond! (YES! I admit it. I'll write about my love for Donny in another post.)

HAPPY VALENTIME'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

A big HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my dear husband who is far far away right now in Germany. I MISS YOU SCHMOOPY!!!!!!!!

Another story: My friend Jill had a boyfriend once who said Valentime. Jill's birthday is on Valentine's (HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEW MAMMA JILL), and it just so happens that one of her biggest pet peeves is mispronunciation. She broke up with the poor schmuck. I've already revealed my biggest Valentine's horror story (the Paul breakup).

And my dear smallest Schmoop, my sweet daughter, gave me the cutest card today that started with "hi, its me. Helen." She makes me laugh so much. I think we'll do something special tonight, like make tea, do some silly dancing, have a nice dinner together, and then read "Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime." If you haven't ready Junie B. books, you should. Even if you don't have kids. The writing makes me laugh so hard, I can't breathe! Another of our faves is "Junie B. and the Beauty Shop Guy". That one's a real side splitter. I've heard people say they don't like the Junie B. books because the grammer is all wonky. Because she talks like a kid! I say, what a great opportunity to discuss language with your kid when you read together. And you don't have to have a girl kid to enjoy the stories. Our good friends read them to their son, and he loves them too.

Well, signing off. Must work now. Happy Valentine's to all. No roses. No candy. No jewelry. Just a simple Happy Valentine's. Tell someone how much they mean to you. That's all its about.

SO SORRY PAUL

2007-01-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

i read that this is national breakup day. while i'm not breaking up with anyone today, i'd like to share a story about something i did in seventh grade that i am not proud of. i had decided to break up with my boyfriend, Paul H., and SENT HIM A VALENTINE POEM!!!! this is how it went:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
A.E.W. wants to break up with you.

not kidding. not proud. but it's kinda funny, don't ya think? I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!!! if i had it all to do over again, i'd tell him "this is hurting me more than it's hurting you." well, paul, i apologize.

I'm 40!!!!!

2007-01-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

i am proud to announce to anyone who is listening, i turned 40 on thursday. it wasn't such a shock, because i've been gearing up for it for a year. i didn't have the rocking disco party i was hoping to have, but i did get an awesome 2 hour massage and spent the evening with my family in austin.

homeward bound

2006-12-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

howdy pardners!

we hit the trails at sunrise. our annual trek to texas for the holidays. have so much to do before the morning. this year i will make a list of things i want to do in austin. somehow we always have so many things we want to do, and then the vacation goes by in a blur.

#1 on my list this year, go to 37th Street to see the most awesome lights and display of neighborhood unity in the universe. this little hippy neighborhood pulls out all the stops, from junk vehicles filled to the brim with lights, to a guy who has so many lights, he has a path of lights leading to his electric meter which is surrounded, of course, with lights where you can see the needle spinning out of control. this is truly a spectacle to behold. neighbors come out and serve hot chocolate and cider as people stroll down the street.

#2- the ZILKER PARK TREE. also a thing to behold, and a tradition from the time i was born. didn't make it the last two years, but the kid will get a kick out of spinning under it. it stands 155 feet tall, and is composed of 39 streamers made up of 3,309 lights!

#3- SHADY GROVE for the hipie sandwich and a margarita.

#4- Out to hear a band. My childhood friend Paul LeMond's band will be playing at THREADGILL's on January 3rd.

this is it for now. probably will think of more later.

Our new friend Jamie from Manchester

2006-12-18T15:54:00.000-08:00

We had our annual Solscice party this past Saturday (not on the solstice this year, so I suppose it was really just a Holiday Soirée). Unfortunately, we didn't take many pictures, but Ludek snapped this one of me and Jamie Draven (he was Billy Elliot's big brother in the film... BILLY ELLIOT and is in the upcoming film BADLAND which my talented husband scored). Isn't he a cutie pie? An AMAZING actor, and just a really nice guy.

Each year we ask guests to share a song, story, poem, an interpretive dance to ring in the season. Ludek started the evening with Randy Newman's "Great Nations of Europe" which was a big hit. Then several of our other brave and talented friends joined in, including our friend Jonathan and his cheery rendition of "Killing Pidgeons in the Park." David P. did his annual ode to Texas (since our living room is filled with Texas kitsch, and Jenn and I joined in. Quite embarassing that the two Texans in the room (Jen and me) only knew the refrain "deep in the heart of Texas". I'll have to learn the lyrics before next year. I was so ashamed. Of course the kids were adorable and sang several Christmas songs, and our dear little one did her Hanukah song she learned in school for the one Jewish friend there. Thanks to everyone who participated. It was a fun evening!

Anonymous said...

2006-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

I think I know you from somewhere. I have seen you and your husband crazy drunk...before you were married...and before your baby...as a matter of fact, we've been in a hot tub together before...all of us...drinking...in Austin...at least, i THINK its you...I could be wrong...but i doubt it...HA!

Ok. Who IS this? I'm trying to think who we sat in a hot tub with, drunk. There were so many. Willie? Yakov Smirnoff? (not joking, but i was with a different gray haired guy then) Identify yourself!

Bringing new meaning to ‘firing blind’

2006-12-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

ok. only in texas would the blind be allowed to hunt. i am from texas, and this frightens me.

a strange day in north hollywood

2006-12-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

so, ludek and i were leaving a screening yesterday, and stopped to get a sandwich. an indian man (turban, not feather) came up and grabbed L's hand, and began telling him his fortune. it was all good, he will have a long life and lots of good fortune in the next few years. the weird thing was that he said a lot of things that were dead on accurate. he pretty much pegged ludek's personality, and what is going on in his life right now. he wrote a number on a piece of paper and put it in ludek's hand crumpled up. he asked L. a bunch of questions, then asked him to pick a number, and it was 7. then he told him to look at the paper. it said 7. he said this is his lucky number, and that in 2007 he will have much luck and success. of course, he then got to the part where he wanted us to give him some money. we only had 7 dollars in cash! weird.

he said "in two years time you will see me again, and will remember me, yogi. and all that i have told you today will have come to pass." but wait. this is the kicker. he then looked at me, took my hand, and said, "you, my lady, have a kind heart, but an angry mouth."

of course, i will never hear the end of that one.

we're getting her started early on challenging authority

2006-11-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

aLOha!

2006-11-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Hubby and my bestest friend Leanne

I decided I haven't posted any pictures lately, so here are a few from our recent Hawaii trip.